A Response to the G.O.P.: Get Back to the Basics Or Get Out

The Republican Party, in an attempt to appear concerned with the opinions of their base, sent out a questionnaire about the Obama agenda.  I would like to offer up my annotated responses.

by Michael Naragon

The G.O.P. has taken a lot of criticism from conservatives over the past several years, first for their mismanagement and overspending as the majority party in Washington, and now for their ineptitude or reluctance to boldly fight the liberal-fascist-socialist takeover of the nation in their role as the voice of opposition.  The frustration with the Republican establishment has been augmented by poor choices of candidates on the local and national levels, with the push for John McCain and the unabashed backing of Dede Scozzafava in New York’s 23rd District.

The climate in the country is beginning to change, however, and it has nothing to do with the myth of man-made global warming.  The citizenry is beginning to demand more from its candidates, and more conservative voters are beginning to take a serious look at third parties for men and women who will truly represent their constituencies.

In light of this, I received a questionnaire from the Republican Party this week.  It was, of course, a fund raising letter disguised as real concern for what I think of the Obama agenda, not surprising considering that it’s been quite some time since the G.O.P. had any interest in the feelings of its conservative base or the Constitution.  However, to humor Mr. Steele–or, failing that, the mailroom clerk who removes the checks and throws out the questionnaire responses–here are my answers.  I decided not to go with the choices of Yes, No, or No Opinion that the G.O.P. provided.

QUESTION 1: Do you agree with Barack Obama’s budget plan that will lead to a $23.1 trillion national debt over the next ten years. A: Obviously not.  Nor did I approve of George Bush’s rampant spending, the bailouts he approved, or the glut of pork barrel spending by Republicans in the years before the Messiah.

QUESTION 2: Do you believe the federal government has gone too far in bailing out failing banks, insurance companies and the auto industry? A: See my response to Question 1.  Remember, this practice of emergency federal bailouts for companies “too big to fail” was begun under Bush, not Obama.

QUESTION 3: Do you support amnesty for illegal immigrants? A: Again… duh.  I believe that an amnesty law would be one of the last dominoes to fall before the country experiences a real revolution.  But why are you asking me this when many in your own party support an amnesty law, and George Bush was nearly given the opportunity to sign one into law.  The secretive attempt was averted only by the quick and passionate response of talk radio and conservatives across the country.  So maybe I’m not the one you should be asking this question.  Or did John McCain also get this questionnaire?

QUESTION 4: Should English be the official language of the United States? A: Yes, but I’m not sure how making this official would change much.  Businesses have apparently committed to becoming bilingual.

QUESTION 5: Are you in favor of granting retroactive Social Security eligibility to illegal immigrants who gain U.S. citizenship through an amnesty program? A: Wait, does this mean you’re willing to capitulate to those who want to shove through amnesty?  If we oppose amnesty, wouldn’t that by definition imply that I’m against this?  Or are you setting us up for the fact that you’ll accept amnesty, but, by crikey, you won’t allow those newly legalized aliens to receive retroactive Social Security benefits?  Get a spine and demand that the law of the land be followed and illegals be removed from the country.  Period.

QUESTION 6: Are you in favor of the expanded welfare benefits and unlimited eligibility (no time, education, or work requirements) that Democrats in Congress are pushing to pass? A: Who would be in favor of this besides those who look to benefit from it?  Why aren’t you asking me if I’m in favor of abolishing welfare programs in their entirety?  Are we accepting the premise that welfare is here to stay?  What does this say about the chances of repealing health care in the future?

QUESTION 7: Do you believe that Barack Obama’s nominees for federal courts should be immediately and unquestionably approved for their lifetime appointments by the U.S. Senate? A: Constitutionally, the Senate is only to advise the President on his appointees, not nitpick over every belief and decision.  However, since the Democrats have politicized the debate, then I believe the Republicans should do likewise.  Unfortunately, if Sonia Sotomayor’s confirmation hearings are any indication, then all Obama will need to do in the future is pick a potential justice from some sort of minority group.  Republicans, possessing as much backbone as a chocolate eclair, will refuse to offend, and the candidate will pass easily.

QUESTION 8: Do you believe that the best way to increase the quality and effectiveness of public education in the U.S. is to rapidly expand federal funding while eliminating performance standards and accountability? A:  The Department of Education should be abolished.  State and local governments should be encouraged to adopt voucher programs that promote school choice.  Students should be allowed to fail or misbehave their way out of school.  Government schools should produce or close.  Oh wait, you were asking if the current system should be expanded.  In that case, no.

QUESTION 9: Do you support the creation of a national health insurance plan that would be administered by bureaucrats in Washington, D.C.? A: No.  Nor do I support any sort of government involvement in the health care industry, short of reducing regulations and encouraging state and local governments to place limits on the fees of trial lawyers in medical malpractice suits.

QUESTION 10: Do you believe that the quality and availability of health care will increase if the federal government dictates pricing to doctors and hospitals? A: Again, government should stay out.  Period.  Do I need to say it in Spanish?!

QUESTION 11: Are you confident that new medicines and medical treatments will continue to be developed if the federal government controls prescription drug prices and sets profit margins for research and pharmaceutical companies? A: Obviously not.  Did you ask this of George Bush when he expanded prescription drug coverage under Medicare, further expanding the role of government health care and helping to lead us to the day when the Congress of the United States would simply take over the whole industry?

QUESTION 12: Are you in favor of creating a government-funded “Citizen Volunteer Corps” that would pay young people to do work done by churches and charities, earning Corps members the same pay and benefits given to military veterans? A: Again, the answer is no, but what have the Republicans done in the recent past to limit the reach of government entitlement programs of any sort?  The federal government already does many of the jobs that used to be performed much more efficiently by charities and churches.  Before we begin to worry about the Obama Youth (or, in German, the Obamajugend), let’s worry about the ideology behind such a program and cut it from the federal government like the malignant tumor that it has become.

QUESTION 13: Are you in favor of reinstituting the military draft, as Democrats in Congress have proposed? A: Why would we need a draft?  Has not our Fuhrer promised that we would be out of Iraq and Afghanistan within 18 months?

QUESTION 14: Do you believe that the federal government should allow the unionization of Department of Homeland Security employees who serve in positions critical to the safety and security of our nation? A: Rather than focus on this particular issue, can we expand this discussion to discuss why any government employees are unionized?  Were they working with unsafe machinery?  Were children being forced to labor for the government?  Were they, like Congress, being forced to work more than two or three hours in a single day?  What exactly are the unions protecting, other than the right to make more money and log more vacation time at the expense of the American taxpayer?

QUESTION 15: Do you support Democrats’ drive to eliminate workers’ right to a private ballot when considering unionization of their place of employment? A: No.  In fact, the right of workers to unionize should be left up to the states.  States that like the high wages and high prices that unions provide could be workers’ havens, while the states that want their economies to thrive could allow the individual businesses to decide for themselves.  Again, let’s get back to the ideology.  Republicans purport themselves to be the party of individual rights.  If that’s so, why would you even have to ask a question like this?

Mr. Steele, I await your response.  I have the feeling that I may be waiting a long time…