The Constitutional Alamo

Hollywood stars make criticizing conservatives a cottage industry.

by Michael Naragon

“You know, there’s nothing more interesting than seeing a bunch of racists become confused and angry at a speech,” began Janeane Garofalo in her interview with MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann Wednesday.  “Let’s be very honest about what this is about,” she continued, “it’s not about bashing Democrats, it’s not about taxes, they have no idea what the Boston Tea Party was about.”

“That’s right,” agreed a grinning Olbermann.

“They don’t know their history at all,” the actress from such films as Mystery Men and, more recently, the acclaimed television show 24 ranted.  “This is about hating a black man in the White House.  [Pleasant grunts from the sportscaster-turned-pundit.]  This is racism straight-up.  That is nothing but a bunch of teabagging rednecks, and there is no way around that.  You know, you can tell these type of right-wingers anything and they’ll believe it, except the truth.”

The actress went on to say that the brains of conservatives, whom she compared to white power activists, are deformed, causing them to think unreasonably.  Apparently, Garofalo has played a brain surgeon in one of her films, giving her the expertise to make such vivid diagnoses.  Why not?  For what is the difference between making medical calls and explaining to the American people how they should politically think?  She is expert in neither, yet she received national television time to expound her view.

Garofalo’s ridiculous hate-filled diatribe on Wednesday does reveal one thing about the brains of the two people on the MSNBC stage that evening, however.  They honestly believe that there are those in America who are interested in their opinion.  Throughout the weekend, Garofalo’s mocking comments were replayed on several stations.  As a conservative, my first reaction was Henry V.

Henry V, you say?  Yes, Shakespeare.  In one of the opening scenes of that particular play, the young king Henry hears a message from the French Dauphin, or prince.  The Dauphin has sent Henry a box of “treasure” to occupy the king’s time.  When the Duke of Exeter opens the box at Henry’s bequest, he discovers tennis balls–a not-so-veiled insult concerning the king’s inexperience.  Henry does not take the Dauphin’s mocking lightly, but he gives his response in an even tone:

When we have march’d our rackets to these balls,
We will, in France, by God’s grace, play a set
Shall strike his father’s crown into the hazard.

The mocking of the Dauphin brought the wrath of the king upon the fields of France.  And the mocking of these self-proclaimed sociopolitical experts in the Hollymedia, such as Garofalo and her ilk, seems eerily similar as they underestimate and attempt to minimize the conservative movement.

Exhibit B: Matt Damon

The mocking of self-righteous Hollywood is nothing new.  During the 2008 election, Matt Damon made his own much-publicized critique of the qualifications of Sarah Palin.

“It’s like a really bad Disney movie, “The Hockey Mom.’  Oh, I’m just a hockey mom from Alaska, and she’s president,” Damon told the AP.  “She’s facing down Vladimir Putin and using the folksy stuff she learned at the hockey rink.  It’s absurd.”

Not content to limit his idiocy to one short statement, he continued. “I need to know if she really thinks that dinosaurs were here 4,000 years ago,” Damon said.  “I want to know that, I really do. Because she’s gonna have the nuclear codes.”  Apparently, the actor was happy with Obama’s scientific stances, as well as his vast experience as a community organizer and teacher of radical principles.

Like Garofalo, the self-important Damon treats conservatives as “absurd.”  He obviously didn’t say that directly, but the implication is clear enough.  The only thing absurd about the Damon interview was the fact that he’s even listened to when it comes to the political arena.  If he and Garofalo want to discuss their latest films, fine.  If they want to weigh in on issues facing actors in general, they would have some expertise in that area.  But the fact that they are actors does not make them political experts.

The difference is voice.

The only thing that separates Garofalo from the “rednecks” that she loathes is that air-time she enjoys.  She has a voice because of her position as an actor.  What she doesn’t realize, or refuses to admit, is that the Tea Party movement is the voice for those in the United States who are concerned with the country’s departure from the Constitution.

Before Garofalo appeared on Olbermann’s Countdown program on MSNBC, the former ESPN teleprompter-reader gave his take on the Tea Parties, using sexual references every few seconds in a poor attempt to ridicule the hundreds of thousands that turned out all across the country on April 15.  Garofalo’s snide commentary followed video clips of the sparsest populated rallies, again in an attempt to minimize the movement.  No wide shots of the 15,000+ in Atlanta were to be seen.

Yet no amount of mocking or downplaying could hide one glaring fact.  Olbermann was forced to cover the story.  Garofalo was compelled to comment on it.  She completely misrepresented it in an attempt to turn the anti-government rallies into racial division, but she was asked to comment on them.  And this, gentle audience, is why actors and pseudo-experts like Garofalo, Damon, and, yes, even Keith Olbermann should be listened to.

Their rage mirrors their fear.  Their ridicule mirrors their apprehension.  Their minimization reveals how large they feel the movement must truly be.  Why attack a powerless enemy?  If the “rednecks” were so infantile and impotent, why bother addressing the issue at all?  The answer is simple.

While the Hollymedia has their voices, they are vocal, but few.  The conservative movement in America does not share the same opportunity to make their opinions known through the leftist media, but on April 15, their voices were heard en masse.  The mocking of Hollywood will become more shrill and desperate as more conservatives join the movement for the Constitution.  Her jest, like that of the Dauphin, will savour but of shallow wit, when thousands more rally than did laugh at it.

On July 4, the next round of Tea Party protests is planned.  Garofalo may be correct on one point.  Some in the crowds of thousands may not know the history of the Boston Tea Party.  But I do.  A few brazen patriots made a bold statement  against an oppressive government.  Thousands followed.  Millions followed after.  The small sparks of freedom began a firestorm which, even in its repressed form, continues today.  The Sons of Liberty faced opposition as well, from the loyalist Tories.  The conservatives who stand for the Constitution today have their Garofaloes.  Perhaps we should gather tar and feathers.